the liberalization of Alan Shore
by Alan wannabe
Summary: While Denny often accused Alan of being a Democrat and a liberal, he had not always been so


The liberalization of Alan Shore (Slash Alan and Denny)

Alan could remember when he had not been so comfortable with the socially vulnerable. When he had worked for a former law firm, Young, Frutt and Berlutti, he had been directed to take the case of a homeless man who was charged with kissing a female office worker at her place of work. She had said that the man forced his scuzzy tongue into her mouth without her consent. And Alan had quickly established that she was offended because she found him personally repulsive. Alan had tried to get out of defending the man because he asserted that the homeless were hostile to him and he was sure that he would not represent the man justly. He remembered how he had quaked (sort of) when he confronted the man accused at his body odor and appearance, and found that the insulted young woman was shallow and self-absorbed. But when he returned to his own pool-endowed high-rise apartment that evening, he found the homeless man was swimming in the heated swimming pool. Although the man asserted that he bathed every day, he could not seem to lose his distinctive body odor, and that they were not actually homeless but lived in tract housing (a low rent government endorsed) tenement, that he could afford with the amount he begged on the street every day, with his 9 year old, motherless daughter. He drew up an agreement for the man by which the complainent would withdraw her criminal charges in exchange for a written and oral apology by her to the man for the hard words which his daughter had heard and had been insulted for her dad, and made to feel inhuman by the well-dressed attractive young woman. Alan, in drawing up the agreement, had thought a long time about how seldom he had ever used the expensive outdoor pool himself and how much it meant to the little girl. That is when he had checked into a hotel, which would ever thereafter he had kept as his home, as a place that would keep him supplied with fresh linen and could never be mistaken as the home of a well-to-do lawyer again. He remembered how spare and lean he felt moving out of that palace and into a lean and spare place, where he had remained until the night terrors had caused him to ask Denny to bed with him in order to perhaps save his life from mishaps that might happen to him in an 8 story hotel home during an episode of night terrors! Only on fear of losing his life, had he returned to a secure and inhabited condo. And the safety and comfort of Denny's body.

When ever he felt himself condemning Denny for his lack of feeling for the homeless and less fortunate, Alan thought back to his own comfortable and well-off lifestyle before meeting Denny and accepting that he might be able to marry again and have love in his life. He hastily reminded himself that he had once held many of the attitudes that Denny now does.

Alan remembered when he was working for Young, Frutt, and Berlutti, he had been assigned the case of a name-less man who was being charged indecent exposure while cleaning toilets in the transportation office of Boston, who said he loved to clean, then fouled the toilets himself with his own shit or piss. And he so hated himself for so doing, that he had made himself unrecognizable for the court by his own hand. Alan had found it so confounding to himself, that he had purchased and gave to the man (Russel Fosienty, a investment banker, who reportedly would have his life and career, ended on identification). Alan presented him with the book saying that he sensed a self loathing, and he hoped that the man could find a way to enjoy what he did without regretting it so much. Alan felt that he had met a self-hating gay man, and this was the first time he had met and understood this sort of man, knowing full well, that most of the people in the world found parts of themselves that they could not own up to or did not accept or feel they could ever accept. Since he and Denny had been together, he felt that he understood what that man was going through or trying to experience in himself! Apparently Alan had been made aware that some men are sexually stimulated by men's toilets.

About the time that Alan began to work for Young, Frutt, and Berlutti, THE 9-11 American soil attack occurred, and everything did change. Eugene began to fight the erosion of American Civil Rights, and Civil Law seemed to disintegrate around them all. Alan decided that he felt that he was on the 'side' of ordinary citizens, and people like him were being called "Liberals" at the top of radio's lungs, and while it seemed very much like life had always been for him and people living in the United States except that they were once again being urged to be more "American" than even during the 1960's! And back when he was working with Young, Frutt, and Berlutti, his own jury consultant told him that his jury found him "too smart" and therefore didn't like him. Maybe that is why ever since, he took pains to appear likeable and identify with members of the jury. His sharpened sense of humor made him go over a lot better with juries, but called upon his colleagues to think him not serious enough. However, if you think yourself liberal, you have an excuse to be both witty and smart, because you are smarting for all those who are hurting and must laugh to keep from crying!

Alan changed his attitude toward Catherine Piper once he got to Crane, Poole and Schimdt as well. He began to see her as an older woman with humor and wit, and a number of problems, most of which caused him consternation and resources.

After Alan read "The Girl with the dragon tattoo", by Steig Larson, which had become a blockbuster in Europe,he read about the author who had expired just after he had turned the manuscript into his publisher, and found that the author was a well-known Nazi decrier, and he linked many great writers and thinkers to be strongly left-winged. And Alan was an avid reader, everyone in the twentieth century from JFK to John Kenneth Galbraith, and found that among those of them who truly thought about their lives and that of society, most were liberal in orientation. Thinking about that circumstance, he found that he could not align himself with the narrow right thinking conservatives. He remembered that he had heard attributed to Winston Churchill the line: "**If you're not a liberal when you're 25, you have no heart. If you're not a conservative by the time you're 35, you have no brain.**

According to research by Mark T. Shirey, citing _Nice Guys Finish Seventh: False Phrases, Spurious Sayings, and Familiar Misquotations_ by Ralph Keyes, 1992, this quote was first uttered by mid-nineteenth century historian and statesman François Guizot when he observed, _Not to be a republican at 20 is proof of want of heart; to be one at 30 is proof of want of a head..._

_ Alan at 45 or 50 felt he no longer could claim youth, but he longed to be human._


End file.
